the attack of cookie monster

today i made cookies with tom. the first run through of said cookies came out burnt. i was not amused. tom was in charge of mixing together the dough for the peanut butter blossom cookies. instead he made regular peanut butter cookies and refused to put the shortening in and failed to inform me of this either. he thinks shortening should be omitted from all cookie recipe's as a frivolous ingredient. this resulted in my cookies being too firm to push the hershey's kisses into. i ended up shoving the chocolates in point first, thus giving the effect of looking at the top of a bald jews head when they are wearing yarmulkes. way cute.
todays song:
Okay...This is a song that uhh..
There’s a lot of christmas songs out there and uhh..
Not too many chanukah songs.
So uhh..I wrote a song for all those nice little jewish kids who don’t get to hear any chanukah songs.
Here we go...
Put on your yarmulkeHere comes chanukahSo much funukahTo celebrate chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a christmas tree
Here’s a list of people who are jewish just like you and me
David lee roth lights the menorah
So do james caan, kirk douglas, and the late dinah shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the carnegie deli
Bowser from sha na na and arthur fonzerelli
Paul newman’s half jewish, goldie hawn’s half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin’ jew
You don’t need deck the halls or jingle bell rock
’cause you can spin a dreidel with captain kirk and mr. spock- both jewish
Put on your yarmulkeIt’s time for chanukah
The owner of the seattle supersonicahs Celebrates chanukah
O.j. simpson, not a jew
But guess who is? hall of famer rod carew- he converted
We got ann landers and her sister dear abby
Harrison ford’s a quarter jewish- not too shabby
Some people think that ebenezer scrooge is
Well he’s not, but guess who is
All three stooges
So many jews are in showbiz
Tom cruise isn’t, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend veronica
It’s time to celebrate chanukahI hope
I get a harmonicah
Oh this lovely, lovely chanukah
So drink your gin and tonicah
And smoke your marijuanikah
If you really, really wannakah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy chanukahHappy chanukah