Freya is grounded for missing curfew

It’s always unfortunate to return from break to find one of your children roaming the halls. This week I’ve been training a new girl, Jess. I actually like her (says the self-center snob). She’s nineteen, engaged, and good at listening and following directions. What more can I say? We’re a good match. On the other hand, our new breaker has sworn in front of my children twice in two days, is rather incompetent all around, and her nose ring looks nowhere near as natural as Amanda’s does. Well, you can’t win them all!
I’m really excited. I’ve felt like I’ve been connecting and hearing from God this week in a way I haven’t in a long time. I keep just getting slammed with encouraging words, convicting words, and thoughts to meditate on.
I read a passage in My Utmost For His Highest on the 12th that really struck me. Oswald Chambers made the observation “We have got so commercialized that we only go to God for something from Him, and not for Himself. It is like saying, ‘No, Lord, I don’t want Thee, I want myself; but I want myself clean and filled with the Holy Ghost; I want to be put in Thy showroom and be able to say- ‘ This is what God has done for me’.”
This excerpt stopped me in my tracks. I realized how often I ask God to better me and grow me for entirely selfish reasons. So often I worry about growing in excellence either so people will get off my case, I will feel more worthy, or I can brag about what God has helped me to overcome. How often though do I want to change for the sake of wanting to be like my Father for no reason other than to better love Him or better reflect His love to others? Oswald Chambers also said “Do we so appreciate the marvelous salvation of Jesus Christ that we are our utmost for His highest?” I wonder… am I more eager to be my utmost for His highest, or my utmost through his highest?