The Ice and Grunt Ritual
"Fairy tales are more than true
- not because they tell us dragons exist,
but because they tell us dragons can be defeated"
G. K. Chesterton
Last night was the second time I have been brought to the point of tears by a pair of jeans. If you are a man, I am quite certain you will not be able to understand me. My husband says "you put a pair of jeans on, they fit, and you go on." If only.
When I was about five months pregnant with the "fat kat", we went to Gap Maternity to get some clothes. At that point I owned two pairs of maternity jeans that I had assumed were as good as it was going to get for me. They fell down when I walked or bent over, but, as they were miraculously the right length I was willing to learn to live life without moving my lower extremities too often. Anyway... so we go into the dressing room together (not only is this allowed, but it's encouraged there!) and I pull these jeans on and start crying literal tears of joy. The jeans fit so perfectly I didn't even feel pregnant any more. I felt like all was once again right in the world.
Fast forward to last night: I have two pairs of pre-prego jeans that I can pour myself into and "tuck my fat in" properly as my mother instructed. I can only lead a normal life in one of the pairs though. The rest of my old jeans are being made into a quilt as I am a realist. I also have a pair of post-prego jeans that must be worn with a good belt and even then I feel a bit like a clown. Such being my situation, my loving hubbie took me too Express last night after our dinner out to try on jeans. I pulled about four pairs off the walls and clearly expressed to Erik my disappointment that the pair I really wanted to try on didn't come in longs. After wandering the store muttering to myself about life being unfair to tall mothers I grabbed one of the "too short" cute jeans to try on anyway. I believe I just wanted to show Erik that I was justified if I wanted to continue wallowing. I tried them on first, to get it out of the way, and they were a perfect fit! As if they were made just for me! So yes, I did get misty eyed at feeling very attractive and comfortable at the same time. I am not ashamed. These are jeans that I would have designed myself. A gift from God! I found a super cute pair of knee length shorts on clearance too!
And for you guys who think I'm alone in my craziness... I read a survey once asking women which they would prefer: great jeans or great sex. 56% went for the jeans...